This week my girl turned 5. She has been such an incredible blessing to me. I was pretty nervous that baby #3 would steal her thunder and show up on her birthday – and even though I know she wouldn’t care and would have found it to be one of the most exciting things to have her sister show up on her birthday. I personally love the idea of them getting their own day.
Emerson continues to amaze me with her happy and fun loving spirit. She adores her big brother and their relationship is so special. As we get closer to her going to elementary school – I find myself getting more and more nervous. I remember the mean girls and I remember what it did to my spirit. I remember what it felt like to be picked last. To be called names. To feel alone.
My upbringing didn’t provide a safe place to fall either and by 4th grade my grades were on a downward spiral, my confidence was low. It was a very lonely time and I find myself desperate to protect Emerson from anything that will break her spirit. I want to keep her young and innocent for as long as possible… and my fears of what elementary school will expose her to, to be quite honest, is frightening. Girls already wearing make-up and short shorts at such a young age. Getting their hair dyed as one mom put it so eloquently… “to be the hottest kindergartener” – just makes me want to keep her under my wing forever…. or at least for a couple more years.
It doesn’t help that Emerson is so desperate to grow up, desperate to lose her first tooth, desperate for independence that her brother didn’t get until he was 8.
So my wish for you my sweet girl as you continue to grow up is simple. May you embrace your golden life and always stay true to yourself. May you be kind and recognize the power of your voice and words and use them to lift up those around you. As you continue to grow you will be challenged to follow the flocks – to be like everyone else…. because that will seem safe to you.I hope you learn that following your heart will always be your best road map.
I will do my best as your mother to listen with an open heart. I will not put on you the challenges of my own upbringing as I know your journey is different then mine. I will provide a safe place to fall when life sends speedbumps your way. I will love to the end of the earth, to the moon and all the way back…. forever and a day. You are my girl and you have taught me so much about motherhood.