Dream Catcher

For the past year or so, I have been in this “space”. Since 2006, I had  fought an uphill battle  trying to build my family. Through IVF, pregnancy loss, life was filled with tremendous highs and the craziest of lows. While I was on that  “fun” roller coaster – I thought – Hey wouldn’t it be fun to jump on another roller coaster at the same time and try and chase another dream of building my own photography business – which in its own right – felt like giving birth to a child. My sensitive heart was put out their to be judged and at times criticized which unfortunately can overshadow the massive amounts of support and love I also received. So here I am in 2015 – and I asked my husband – “Now What”?  Here I had everything I ever wanted -dreaming had led my life path for so long – It led me to meet my husband, dreaming helped me chart my way from The Big Apple to The City of Dreams and to where I live now in the Lonestar State of Texas. Dreams led me to pick up my camera and then encouraged me to never put it down – Dreams taught me how to never give up. .. and now what?? I  felt a little bit lost – what the heck happened? I looked for my light – I did everything I could to embrace where I was – I came to the conclusion that I guess my dream should now be to help my own children fulfill their dreams – and I need to be ok with that – but that answer just didn’t sit well with me – it wasn’t the epiphany that I needed to help me make sense of this new place I was in.  What do you do when you have chased your dreams  for so long that you don’t know how to not be on that roller coaster anymore.  Well, this morning – like a lightbulb, it came to me and brought so much peace to my inner-struggle that I jumped out of the shower (because of course that is where I get my best thinking done), I quickly grabbed a towel and started to write.  Here is my own revelation and how I heard it in my head and felt it immediately in my heart – “OH MY GOSH – I have everything I ever dreamed for – I don’t have to chase it anymore . How lucky am I ?   Life isn’t about always being on the roller coaster – that it’s  ok to just be on cruise control and take the scenic route for a while”.  So, within that thought, I happily stepped off that proverbial roller coaster – until, of course, life chooses to throw another curve ball my way – because it will … it always does.  Here is the thing…What’s the point of chasing the dream – if you can’t be still enough to appreciate the dream once you finally get it. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals – I have goals – personal and business ones that I make on a daily basis – goals are simply the bullet points in life that help guide my direction – but my dreams – are  all the things that have brought meaning into my life.

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