When you are a self-proclaimed over-thinker.. you overthink EVERYTHING – but the perk of overthinking is that I will typically have a quick solution for most problems that I encounter because I probably thought about it years ago.So as I was overthinking life one day – most likely while I was showering (which is the best place for over thinkers to over think) I was thinking about my love of photography and how I have this secret fear that someday that in the midst of a teenage sized temper-tantrum that my child is going to yell the following words….” You love your camera more then you love me”- and my heart will shatter in a million pieces. This has been a fear for a very long time – it is one of the reasons that I stopped dressing them up for the camera – or making them pose for me. To me it felt like they were being “used” for my art at an age where they were not old enough to have a say in it. I also make sure to ask their permission on whether or not they want my camera and when they tell me no more photos – I stop immediately. Anyway -it got the mama wheels spinning – how do I make sure that they never utter those words before they utter those words…because here is the reality – they don’t think about the love I have for them – they can’t see it – it probably goes unnoticed a majority of the time – or is just overlooked as me being”mom” – Of course mom tickles my back every night …isn’t that what moms do? Or of course mom makes me my favorite breakfast for school …because thats just what moms do. But when they see me lost in my passion and they watch me as I crouch and maneuver myself into crazy positions just to get the shot they are watching me loving what I do. So I decided to ask them – “Hey, do you think mom loves photography more then she loves you?” and what do you think they said…of course they said ” Yes” – not in a “whoa is me kind of way” – they aren’t old enough for that yet…. But it was just more matter of fact…So I thought I would explain it to them. I said “I can see why you would think that – But here is the thing – I love photography the same way you love soccer, or gymnastics…Minecraft or Kitty cats. Photography is simply my passion but you guys… you are my love”. I have never doubted that they absolutely knew how much I loved them but now they know … without a shadow of a doubt…that I love them above anything else.
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